The Perfect Plan
by Saria-Green-Leaf
Summary: WARNING: It was based on a dream, so it's not to be taken seriously. Ganondorf finds the perfect way to both win Link's heart and get rid of Zelda. Set in modern Hyrule. Link and Zelda are siblings. AU. GanondorfxLink.


It was a bright, sunny afternoon in Hyrule City. Birds chirped merrily and a nice, cool breeze blew into the leaves of the trees, making it obvious for everybody that spring had just came. In that city, there was a famous spot for people of all ages, perfect for relaxing after a stressful day. Said spot was called 'The Hylian coffee shop'.

"Ah, so your name is Dolly? It's a pretty cute name.", a short blond boy inside the coffee shop told the girl he had just met.

"Ah, thank you!~", the girl blushed. "Yours is pretty nice, too. Link has such a nice ring to it.", then she blushed even deeper.

The boy scratched the back of his head, smiled widely, thanked her and kept going on with his endless rambling.

Several days went by, in which Link couldn't help but go to their meeting spot. Dolly was a very good listener, though sometimes she showed a bit of her short-tempered side by yelling at him when she didn't agree with something he had said. Despite her flaws, he asked her if she would be his girlfriend, which she gladly accepted.

Sometime later, Link insisted she would come to his house, for he totally had to show her how her eyes and his sister's were the exact shade of blue. They almost had a fight for she not wanting to go, but Link was so insistent that they ended up going anyway.

"Zelly! Look who I brought home!"

His sister came running down the stairs and finally met the one she was so eager to know. The moment she looked at Dolly's eyes, however, all the excitement and curiosity was gone, as those feelings were replaced by the strange feeling that this girl was not who she seemed to be.

"Dolly, this is my sister, Zelda. I hope you two get along well.", Link announced and, while Dolly smiled at Zelda, Zelda gave her a somewhat terrified stare. To avoid the embarrassing situation, Zelda ran up the stairs and locked herself in her room.

-"-

"Hey, Zelly, why did you run away like that?", Link smirked, then completed, "You aren't jealous of her, right?"

"Link…", his sister said in a serious tone. "This girl… Something is off about her. She's not what we think she is."

Link burst out laughing. "Hahahaha! There you go with your premonitions again! There isn't magic in Hyrule anymore, Zelly!"

"And what if she's an ancient being?", Zelda inquired. "Then she could use magic and turn into something else, or even someone else!"

"Why would she do that?"

"Who knows…?", Zelda made a puzzled face. "Maybe she's an evil being who needs to kill you in order to take over the world?"

Without wanting to upset his sister, Link stormed out of her room and burst out laughing in the kitchen, totally mocking Zelda's supposition by thinking it would be great to cook the egg he left in the stove faster. To his surprise, the eggshell was already glued to the pan, the smell of burned food coming from it.

"Oh, goddesses. It worked, after all."

-"-

In a nice day of summer, Zelda decided to go to the market. As soon as she stepped outside the house, however, a weird, scary man seemed to be coming in her direction. She instantly entered the house again and kept observing the man warily through a small opening made by the half open door.

He was tall and had vivid red hair that seemed to be tied by mini bread rolls, along with a majestic tiara that seemed to be holding the rolls in place. It was adorned with a big jewel colored like… pee? But the weirdest part was the color of his skin: dark with a hint of green. By his looks, he seemed to be a gerudo, but weren't gerudoes extinct?

Then, when the spying was doing great, there was a blinding glow and the man had transformed into… Link's girlfriend! Zelda's first reaction was to search her history books.

-"-

"Hey, Dolly, I bought some bread rolls.", Link told his girlfriend, lovingly.

"Aww, Link. That's so sweet! Thank you!~", she squeaked. "But you're also quite the clumsy one, hmm? I smell burned food again!"

Before he could say anything, Zelda came running down the stairs, a lot of heavy history books in her hands.

She turned to Dolly and said, "You're Ganondorf, aren't you?! Stop messing with my brother!"

"What are you talking about?! Can't you see I'm just a cute, inoffensive girl?!"

After much insistence from Zelda's side, Dolly said, "So what if I am?! Link will love me anyway, won't you, Link dear…?"

Link nodded. So the blinding light went on again and, when it faded, there was Ganondorf, in all his glory and excessive height, which made him bump his head on the ceiling and fall down on his buttock.

Despite Ganondorf's ungraceful fall, Link was drooling. "You…", he blushed deeply. "You look way better in real life. Those stupid history books don't do you justice."

"You did promise you would still love me, sweetie. So just be a good boy from now on and submit yourself to me.", the King of Evil said in a flirty fashion.

"Actually, I like you way better this way. Tall, dark and red-haired men are just my type.", Link admitted.

Such high amount of information was too much for Zelda. Not only she had found out Link's girlfriend was actually a man and also the King of Evil who tried to take over Hyrule countless times, she learned her brother swung that way, which she had never suspected. Her first reaction was to call the police and say the dangerous King of Evil, Ganondorf, was in her house seducing her brother and being dangerous to world peace.

Soon, sirens were heard. But they didn't belong to the police. They belonged to the ambulance. Of the car came out five nurses. One of them said, "We came here to ensure proper treatment to the miss. Such a delirium indicates she should be in an asylum since a long time ago."

"What?! But he's real! Can't you see…him…?", unfortunately for Zelda, Ganondorf had turned into Dolly again.

Zelda tried to run away from the nurses, but they caught her and put her in the ambulance.

Just as Dolly had finished turning back into Ganondorf, Link asked him, "You aren't going to do bad stuff again, will you, my tall dear?"

"Who knows?", The King of Evil replied, a mysterious smile gracing his dark lips.

-"-

Meanwhile, Zelda had cried a river inside the ambulance and decided to show how she truly felt about the whole situation by exclaiming, while scaring the nurses to death, "Curse you, Link! Curse you, Magic! Curse you…", then she accumulated all her anger and shouted, "…GanonDOLLY!"


End file.
